Photo: Teen Angst ~ a Graffiti Love Plea

Posted from: Vale of Glamorgan CF64 3AW, UKWritten on a handrail, this angst-ridden teen love graffiti was found today in Penarth, on the steep steps above the esplanade (near the Bay Leaf Restaurant) leading to Alexandra Park. Transcription below…

“Mickey, I’ll be easy going, you can do what you want, see the boys as much as you want, I’ll never hit you except in play-fights where I batter you! When I look into your eyes I know what I want, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I’ve messed up but please I’ll do whatever you want. You will always be my best friend and I won’t control you, I’ll never give up on you, and if turtlepillar does die completely then I’ll still come down here and think of you. I can’t live without you, it’s so hard to know that you’re not mine. Please don’t give up on me baby. I want you so badly, I love you xxxx”

Who’s Mickey? Who wrote this? More curiously, who (or what) is ‘turtlepillar?’ contra omnia discrimina

Guest Author, Zan Anselmo, on What Love Really Is

Zan Anselmo, a friend, writer, artist and fellow CFS advocate wrote the following short observation on what love really is. I found it profound, accurate, personal, insightful and incredibly honest. It actually brought a tear to my eye through it’s insightfulness. She kindly agreed to sharing it here:
I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
– Zan Anselmo 

I woke up and realized the script I was writing is a fake. I lost myself in delusional dreams, but now, I’m finally awake. Because what I thought was love, was never really love. I thought the ache in my heart was an indicator that this is real. I thought misery is what love makes you feel. But I woke up, and realized I didn’t know what love is. I thought love was something bad, and I wished it was something I never had. But I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. And love was never about me, or searching for someone to set me free. Love is about waking up from your own dream, and seeing people as they truly are. It’s about loving them unconditionally from your heart. And love isn’t about hating someone that doesn’t serve your needs, and love isn’t about what you can do for me. I woke up and finally figured out what love is. And everywhere I turn, people are writing their own unique scripts and stories, full of pain, jealously, envy, remorse and sorrow….and they sit there wishing, praying they’ll find love tomorrow. But I know, love does not suffer and love does not hate. Love is patient, and love will wait. And I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. No one seems to see it, no one seems to feel it, because they keep searching outside. And when these external forces wound them, they quickly run and hide. But I woke up today, and finally knew what love was, and I knew it was love, because I watched the pain dissipate from my soul.
contra omnia discrimina

Maybe this Time – Cabaret – Liza Minnelli

Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky,
Maybe this time, he’ll stay, Maybe this time,
For the first time, Love won’t hurry away. He will hold me fast,
I’ll be home at last, Not a loser anymore, Like the last time, And the time before. Everybody loves a winner, So nobody loved me; ‘Lady Peaceful,’ ‘Lady Happy,’ That’s what I long to be,
All the odds are in my favour, Something’s bound to begin, It’s got to happen, happen sometime,
Maybe this time I’ll win…..

Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky, Maybe this time, he’ll stay,
Maybe this time,
For the first time,
Love won’t hurry away. He will hold me fast,
I’ll be home at last,
Not a loser anymore,
Like the last time, And the time before. Everybody loves a winner,
So nobody loved me; ‘Lady Peaceful,’ ‘Lady Happy,’ That’s what I long to be, All the odds are in my favour, Something’s bound to begin! It’s got to happen, happen sometime Maybe this time, maybe this time, I’ll win…..

A chair is still a chair

A chair is still a chair
Even though there’s no-one sitting there
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there’s no-one there to hold you tight
And no-one there you can kiss goodnightA room is still a room
Even though there’s nothing there but gloom
But a room is not a house
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart

Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your voice appears
But it’s just a crazy game
When it ends, it ends in tearsDarling, have a heart
Don’t let one mistake keep us apart
I’m not meant to live alone
Turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs
And turn the key
Oh, please be there
Still in love with me

Home

When I think of home
I think of a place where there’s love overflowing
I wish I was home
I wish I was back there with the things I been knowingWind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning
Suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning
Sprinklin’ the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there’s a chance for me to go back there
Now that I have some direction
It would sure be nice to be back home
Where there’s love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up
Time be my friend, let me start againSuddenly my world has gone and changed it’s face
But I still know where I’m going
I have had my mind spun around in space
And yet I’ve watched it growing

If you’re list’ning God
Please don’t make it hard to know
If we should believe in the things that we see
Tell us, should we try and stay
Or should we run away
Or would it be better just to let things be?Living here, in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy
But it taught me to love
So it’s real, real, real to me

And I’ve learned
That we must look, look inside our hearts
To find a world full of love
Like yours
Like mine
Like home..